She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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