I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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