We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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