your room smells of hookers.
And success
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
