i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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