you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
