I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize