It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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