Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
