I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You were trust falling into bushes
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
