I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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