Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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