I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
