I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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