I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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