i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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