You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
