I think I won the penis lottery.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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