and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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