do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she peed on how many people?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
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I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The Olympian is in my bed
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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