you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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