girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
