but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
