Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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