im six kinds of drunk right now
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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