I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize