So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
