I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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