Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
