but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
