You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize
