At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Let's paint friendship bongs
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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