He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
