That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
