At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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