Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize