CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
