I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
