I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
