they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
