My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
