Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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