Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
