So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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