At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
