sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
