areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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