Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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