Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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