well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
