Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
