Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
