Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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