This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
