Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
