Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
