Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
