she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I would fuck him just for his dog
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
