Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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