please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize