): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
