He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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