Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
